I'm Unsure About How to Care for My Baby and Manage My Responsibilities

The quality of interactions between parents and their infants impacts the infant’s development of secure attachment and influences the emotional, social and physical development of the child. Although bonding can be immediate for some people, bonding is a process and sometimes takes time. As you care for your new baby, you may find that your attachment grows.  

Every new mother needs plenty of rest while adjusting to physical changes, breastfeeding, and developing a routine with her newborn. It is ideal for her partner or family and friends to help substantially with chores and meals for at least the first two weeks after childbirth so she can adequately attend to the infant’s needs. 

• Prepare meals before the baby comes and pop them in the freezer. 
• Avoid crowds for the first few weeks or until your pediatrician says it’s safe to do so.
• Sleep or nap when the baby sleeps. 
• Ask family and friends for help! 
• Try to establish a routine for you and your baby. 
• Don’t stress about the housework. 
• You might experience high’s and low’s, but this is a big change – be gracious with yourself! Talk to your pediatrician or your doctor if you’re feeling down or really sad.
• Enjoy this time with your new baby. 
• Check in with your midwife or doctor. 

Fewer than 1 in 4 babies are exclusively breastfed at the 6-month mark.  Even when breastfeeding is going well, it still takes time and supplies.  When it isn’t going well, it may requires working with an IBCLC, which may be an out-of-pocket expense, renting or buying a hospital grade breast pump, supplements, doctor’s visit and more.  

In the US, Black parents still face the greatest barriers to breastfeeding: while nearly 70% of black parents start out breastfeeding, most stop before postpartum week #7. Some of the obstacles reported by people of color include lack of social, work, and cultural support, as well as lack of access to information that supports breastfeeding.

But, while you may choose to stop breastfeeding early for many reasons (and that’s okay!), you shouldn’t be forced to stop due to a lack of support, particularly in the workplace.  How quickly you return to work can range from months to just days after giving birth. And if you choose to breastfeed, workplace lactation protections are critical for continuing to feed you baby after you return.  

The Break time for Nursing Mothers Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) Protections to Pump at Work  is a federal law that requires employers to provide reasonable breaktime for an employee to express breast milk for one year after birth.  It also gives employees the right to a private place to pump at work, other than a bathroom. 

Crying is one of the ways babies communicate. Crying, including prolonged bouts where your baby may seem inconsolable, is normal developmental behavior in babies. Taking care of a crying infant is a lot of work, and feeling frustrated, drained and a little desperate is a normal reaction to a hard situation.  Keeping your emotions in check- staying calm-is important for your own sake for also for your baby.  

If your baby starts fussing and you don’t know what to do, try mimicking the womb by swaddling your baby.   Rock you baby while you hold them in their swaddle and play some soft music to try to calm they down.  If that doesn’t work, try going for a walk.  All of these ideas are ways to calm and soothe your baby while bonding with them.